Finding love with the Law of Attraction and meeting someone new
Everybody wants to meet someone special and enjoy fulfilling relationships. In fact, 'I want to manifest my soul mate' is amongst the most popular questions Michael James hears. A new relationship ought to be exciting, after all it’s what you wanted, right? But now you find yourself almost feeling worse than before you met the person. What’s going on?
When you find something or someone you want your mind wants to ‘try really hard to make it work’ and this is where you go wrong. Whether it’s a new job or a new relationship, the stakes seem high and so you put more effort in. And yet effortless is the key to things working, not more effort. And ‘trying hard’ is the near-automatic place our minds want to go so this new approach will take some practice.
When you go into thoughts on the subject of romantic relationships it’s like the storehouse of every time you got abandoned gets unleashed on you. That’s why it feels so bad. You don’t get called back and it feels like the end of the world. And then you feel like a total loser for feeling so bad about checking your phone every five minutes and seeing they haven't replied to your text message.
Don’t worry. It’s not just you. If you listen to the most popular music, you’ll discover most of it is about romantic relationships. Or rather the pain of romantic relationships. People think these thoughts are just them but it’s clear these feelings are universal. That's why there are 500 million hits on Youtube for the latest ‘heartbreak’ song, because everyone can relate.
Fantasy vs anticipation
When you meet someone new, the lower self ‘thinking’ mind (otherwise known as your ego) wants to go into fantasies about the future - thrilling about marriage, children, lifestyles you will live together and sometimes after you’ve only been on one date! You can tell this is not genuine happiness as it has an edge to it; like you’ve nervously put all your money on this one outcome. This fear based fantasising is self-hate in disguise. It may feel exciting but theres an underlying dread feeling which is the ‘tell tale’ sign you are off track.
Firstly, you don’t even know this person and your fantasising is an attempt at control. Also, you have exchanged your own self worth for them by all that daydreaming; it’s like every time you dream of them, you are denying yourself. You are the star of your show not them.
Whether it feels like a manic high, or like worry or abandonment, it’s coming from the same source and it’s a sure sign you are disconnected from your power. You know it’s the lower mind by the fact that it’s hysterical or manic stream of mind chatter, rather than the self-assured, confident knowing of the Real Self mind and your empowerment.
Trust me, your mind won’t figure out who they are, what they are thinking or what’s going on. So give up trying.
Relationship pain: Why feeling attractive is the antidote you're looking for
All relationship pain, whether it be longing for someone, being ‘done wrong’ by someone or being lonely has one thing in common - it makes you feel unattractive.
By attractive, I don’t necessarily mean feeling physically attractive, it’s just that feeling of being an attractive person - loving, interested and interesting. It’s that feeling of self-love and self-confidence, a feeling that is less about thinking and more about being. Neediness is the opposite of attractiveness and attractive is the antidote you’re looking for.
Attractiveness isn’t a feeling for you to generate yourself. Your attractiveness exists behind the over thinking just like the sun exists behind the clouds.
Thoughts are like the ‘keep’ on a magnet, that piece of metal that covers the magnetic part which stops its magnetism Thoughts, in this way, stop your natural magnetism.
Re-discovering your magnetism
Your key to taking the keep from your magnet is to do something which connects you to You; something that gets you in the flow. Do something to get out of your mind, do something else other than sitting there and thinking and listening to those awful ‘heartbreak’ songs. Get yourself to the gym or into a similar exercise; go for a run. Exercise gets you out if the mind and into your flow. Go out and get some new clothes. Start a new hobby or project. Before long, you will have called back your energy and unleashed your attractiveness.
The conversation continues with Finding Love with the Law of Attraction - an exclusive online webinar hosted by Mind Body Spirit happening on Thursday February 11th 2016. It deals with everything do do with relationships. For more information click here to book your place.