Secrets of Love: Attracting a romantic relationship into your life by Michael James

There are more ways to look for love nowadays than ever before - and yet it sometimes seems that people are more single than ever.


“You find love when you are not looking for it” says the popular phrase. It can be annoying to hear these words - but the statement has truth to it. If you are desperately searching for something, it makes it harder to find what you’re looking for. It's like when you look for lost keys - they're nowhere to be found until you stop looking or find a spare set and then the keys show up, right in front of you. You find what you're looking for when you are doing something else or have found another alternative; when you stop searching or longing or needing. When you get a new interest more dynamic than your search. When you stop overthinking, in other words. It's during these times of "flow" that good things tend to happen; including so-called chance meetings with a romantic partner. 

This is why so much of the conventional approach to manifesting on all subjects just isn’t working. People get stuck in trying to make things happen; an endless obsession with what they haven’t got. They move from one teaching gimmick to another, but nothing much happens except the endless carrot-on-a-stick promise of their stuff coming ‘next week’. There may be a few hopeful signs here and there but the significant things they really want - such as discovering their life purpose or finding their soulmate - don’t happen as easily as they thought they would. 

I know people who have joined dozens of online dating sites, gone out to networking groups several times a week - and nothing. I’ve met people who stay in all the time - and nothing. I’ve also met people who stay in all the time and meet someone on that one time they do decide to socialise - and I've also met people who have met their partner online. So it’s not about location - it's not about what you do or don't do. It’s feeling - and timing. Once you relax and feel good, you will know if your path is joining that new social group or sports team, or finding a new pastime. The decision will come from a powerful place of wanting to enjoy your life rather than going to all those events desperate that ’the one’ will be there. 

Love happens when it happens 

In those great epic love stories I know of, the couple ‘just met’. They can’t tell you exactly how or give you a secret formula - they met seemingly randomly in a way they couldn't have planned. There are books written out there that try to get you to do manifest love like some sort of recipe - but I’ve not heard much success from that. Sure, you may be guided to do certain things from within. But following someone else’s personal recipe in one of those books is like following someone else’s car’s SATNAV. It won’t help, and it may even get you feeling more lost. For example, if I told you all about the couple I know through my workshops who met at 12am in Tesco -  then some readers would start hanging around in Tesco in the middle of the night. That’s not the point. It has nothing to do with a supermarket or any place or time. Simply, these two were individually called there, through intuition, and they met. You will be called, too, to your right place at the right time. 


In the meantime, you want to get busy with your life. You want to discover an interest more dynamic than your search for love and get into that so much so you forget about looking for love. 


Why it’s ok to be desperate or needy sometimes 

Being told not to look for love (when you are looking for it all day long) may sound good in theory but how do you do it? Especially when every song and TV programme and advert on the tube train you see is about romantic relationships. The first thing to do is make peace with that longing - because everyone does it sometimes. In fact, this stage of longing or neediness is an important part of the journey. Another way of describing it is the word ‘ambition’. Both mean the same thing - wanting something you haven’t yet got - but ambition sounds better! Self-Love begins with accepting all parts of ourselves, the parts we don’t like as well as the parts we do. It’s very hard to change unless you first love and accept yourself as best you can. 

A blessing in disguise 

It may be frustrating to know that you can't of yourself micromanage things to "make love happen" for you. But it's also a relief. It's an opportunity to surrender and to trust Life - which will help you in manifesting the good in all areas of life. It's an opportunity to get on with other things. It's an opportunity to learn about yourself and to be gentle with yourself. It's an opportunity to meditate more and listen within rather than listening to that relentless parade of thoughts that lead you nowhere. And perhaps most of all, it's an opportunity to learn how to love yourself more - which will help you in all areas of life, including with your relationship when it arrives at the perfect time. 

See Michael in his new workshop Secrets of Abundance - Create Success with the Law of Attraction, which will explain how to feel better about the life you have and manifest the life you want - in all areas, including romantic relationships.