Mind Body Spirit presenter Abby Wynne talks about how we feed our thoughts through where we put our awareness and focus our attention.
What you feed will prevail
Pay and feed, those two words in fact are interesting ones. Feed - like the story of the two wolves, we have one evil wolf and one good one, which one will survive? The one you feed. So by concentrating on being upset about what you feel you failed to achieve, creates more upset, feeds the upset and emotional pain. But if you say to yourself instead “okay, I wasn’t able to go to the gym/eat healthy (add your own in here) today, I’ll rest now and conserve my energy, then I’ll have more tomorrow and I can try again”, do you think you are more likely to actually have more energy to achieve it than you would if you spent the evening beating yourself up?
You can't force growth, you can't beat yourself up with a stick to make something stick.
Paying attention = Investment of attention
So what are you investing in? You think deeply when you invest your money, how about thinking a little more deeply about where you invest your awareness?
I was talking with a good friend about the concept of healing. We were talking about it in terms of strength and weakness. He was coming from the angle of removing the weakness, that was his focus. I realised that wasn't the solution. Healing is not about focusing on what it is you don't want, because by focusing on it, you're feeding it. When you invest in the weakness by paying it attention, you get more of it. So you want to feed something else, the opposite of weakness. Strength. Feeding your awareness on strength, paying your attention to strength, and the weakness falls away because you're too busy learning how to be strong. What do you think?
We all long to grow
Carl Rogers is the father of counselling. He believed that for a person to grow, they need an environment that provides them with all of the qualities they require, and they will naturally choose the ones that make them healthier. Like the plant which naturally grows towards the light. So if you focus your awareness on removing a weakness, and there is no strength there to take it’s place, you naturally stay with the weakness. And if that weakness has provided you with comfort, or is the way you survive certain things, then you’ll keep going back to that because that’s all you know.
So here’s the thing – what is it that makes you strong? What can you add into your environment to replace the thing you’ve been feeding that you dislike so much? How difficult is it for you to bring your attention to the strength that you desire, and pull it away from the weakness?
It starts with you
It doesn’t matter where you are on your journey, the process is the same for everyone. Know that there is something that you wish to heal. Observe what you are doing and how it manifests in you. Look at what in you is triggered and why you go there. Then create the thing you wish to see instead. Fill your environment with it, and start paying it more attention. Like a child – reward the good behaviour and ignore the bad. No more beating yourself up when you go back to the thing you dislike. You will slowly shift to the new strength, because it feels good. And if you have trouble with feeling good, well, there is work to do. And that’s okay too, because you become aware of it, you can start to change what you’re feeding there, too.
Come along to Abby's two hour workshop on Saturday 29th April from 5.45pm - 7.15pm at the Mind Body Spirit London Wellbeing Festival. Buy tickets.
For the full workshop schedule visit our website.Book tickets for the festival and download the festival programme to find out who’s on, what’s on and when.