Ten steps to what truly matters in life - Ian Tucker
We live in a mad, crazy world, and it is easy to become overwhelmed with the pace of life and expectations placed upon us by others. Bestselling author Ian Tucker takes a look at how we can slow down and begin to take care of ourselves. Here are ten simple steps towards what truly matters in life.
1. “Live just for today”
Your past is now your story, nothing more, it has gone forever - regret is a total waste of your time, see that what came to test you is an opportunity to grow, be kind to yourself and focus on cherished memories. What of the future and it’s total uncertainty? Well, 99.9% of anything that you and I have ever worried about has never happened, think about that for a moment, all that worry sometimes to the point of illness and for nothing, worrying is like praying for things you don’t want. Once you realise that the current moment is all that you can be certain of you will unlock the shackles that keep you tied to the past or worried about the future and liberate you to live each day.
2. “Remember all that you have in life”
In a world that tells us everyday that we need more to be happy, it becomes easy to focus on what we don’t have, The latest model becomes dated and the “must have” purchase will gather dust, but consider this, “The simplest things deliver your deepest needs.” Anything that has truly meant something to me in my life very rarely has a monetary value. Try this very simple “gratitude” excercise and let it remind you of all that you have in life. Take a piece of paper and in the centre draw a heart, within the heart place the name of someone or something that you are grateful for, now around the heart fill the page with why you feel blessed to know this person. At the bottom of the page and with a smile write thank you. We have so much to be grateful for, sometimes it’s just a matter of stopping to remind ourselves.
3. “Find the gift”
Life isn’t about some kind of flat line clinical existence, we can’t truly appreciate happiness until we have felt sad, or know how fortunate we are until we have known lack. Something or someone who comes to test you in life is no different, you can either let it define you and hold you back or find the gift and embrace the lesson. Use the gratitude exercise from above, but now place the issue within the heart and find the gift.
4. “Practice Kindness”
The pace and turmoil associated with modern life sweeps us along and lays down markers to how we are supposedly measuring up against everyone else, we seem to often be in a race against time and it can begin to feel like we are simply existing. This approach to life can stop us truly connecting with other people on a deeper level, and this is a basic component of developing a positive and happy outlook. A sense of concern for others gives our life meaning, it is at the root of all human happiness.
The easiest way to show we care is to be kind, this may be easy with those we love but what if we could extend this to all living things? I would like to introduce you to a wonderfully inspiring concept, it will loosen the grip that society places on us to fit in and constantly achieve. “Every day show a random act of kindness to a stranger”, what may seem nothing to you will change someone’s life, a kind word, a smile, a simple act. We live in a world where “what’s in it for me?” seems to be the mantra. Try “what can I do for you?” and you will be amazed at what transpires. The world is desperate for someone just like you, there is a catch however, what goes around comes around, so expect to get it back!
5. “Enjoy the silence”
Find time each day to become silent, just ten minutes or so to consciously quieten your mind. Develop a simple practice where you can be alone, close your eyes and gently deepen your breathing. In creating a space between the noise and stress associated with our everyday lives we have an opportunity to remind ourselves that all is well.
6. “Use the F word”
What is it about forgiveness that frightens us so much? Begin to see forgiveness as a way of freeing yourself from an emotional tie to a person or situation, forgiveness never condones another’s behaviour it simply confirms that you choose to travel light and are not going to let it define or control you any longer.
7. “What goes around...”
Give as you wish to live. If you want honesty, be honest, if you want respect, be respectful and if you want love, give love. It all comes back to you and that's without exception.
8. “Follow your heart and not the crowd”
Studies show that when we look back at our lives (and we will) it’s the things we didn’t do that hang heavy, imagine suddenly realising that you’ve never truly lived. This is YOUR life so don’t live another’s version of it, you’re the only person who can stand in your way.
9. “Take care of yourself”
Trust your instincts. Say exactly what you mean. Don’t be a people pleaser. Never put yourself down. It’s OK to say yes. It’s OK to say no. Let go of what you can’t control. Dare to dream.
10. “ And so to what truly matters in life”
As you get older you will begin to understand more and more that it’s not what you look like or what you own, it’s all about the person that you’ve become, and that how at peace you feel is your true measure of success in life.
Ian Tucker is a British author and speaker - his first book titled Your Simple Path - find happiness in every step has become an Amazon bestseller. For more information on Ian and his work visit www.iantucker.co.uk and come along to Ian's workshop 'Your Simple Path' on Monday 2nd May from 10.45am - 12.45pm at the London Wellbeing Festival. Buy tickets.
For the full workshop schedule visit our website.Book tickets for the festival and download the festival programme to find out who’s on, what’s on and when.